I’ve been thinking alot lately, about who I am. Perspectives; we all have our own perspective of another person, and no two are identical. We may think we know someone or vice versa but in reality we only know our own perspective of that person and what that version we see of them shows us. I’ve been thinking alot lately about who I am. What kind of wife I am, what kind of daughter I am. What kind of person I want to be, or more to the point, if somebody asked to describe me..What would I hear them say? My hands jump to almost defend what I just wrote “but I DON’T care what people think of me” this is true, I don’t. But I care about that perspective, I care about how I present myself to another human being, and as I get older..I care more, and think more, about how treating and loving others matters more than what I think, or what I think they think..If that makes sense. When I say “present” myself to another, I’d like to say that means how I’m physically looking, but to be honest some days when absolutely no fucks fly you very well could mistake me for a homeless person while out running errands.
Being an empathetic person, aka an empath I’ll pick up on emotions easily. Hurt, and sadness most intensely. So while I will happily put the perception that I can be a tough nut and nothing gets to me at times, it’s to guard the fact that many, many things get to me. I find myself crying at stupid ads on tv, to defending a complete stranger on the road to my husband after they make a stupid move on the road because “please lay off them you don’t know what sort of day they may have had”. And the worst of it is I find myself crying in movies like Guardians of the Galaxy..It’s not even a movie one could possibly cry in but I made it happen. I’m telling you this because I’m learning more about myself, and that it is okay to share things like this, and it does in no way make me weak or vulnerable. I am learning that strength is many things. Strength can also be compassion.