This week has been one of enlightenment and reflection. For the last four months I have been unemployed. For the last four months I have been extremely unwell. I burnt myself out last year, working in a job I hated that was causing heightened anxiety, furiously saving for our wedding, trying to lose weight to ensure I fit into my dream gown, so I could look “happy and healthy” on the day.
Nothing about my methods were healthy, or making me happy. The amount of worry and stress and impatience my mind was trying to manage was just too much. If only the body gave more clear warning signs like red flashing lights and sirens.. the signs I got that apparently weren’t so obvious to me were lock jaw, having anxiety to the point of nausea every day, eating issues, sleeping issues, constant stress and feeling on edge, major depression…What a year. So to top it all off and lose my newly acclaimed job was another smack in the face..So I thought.
Since leaving the business world I have learnt to enjoy and make the most of this opportunity. I forget how lucky I am to be able to move back home and not worry about bills and rent so I can have the opportunity to focus on me, and what will make me better..It would have been great if I sorted my crazy out back when I was a child but sometimes your parents just don’t see what you don’t tell them. That and I grew up with a highly dramatic sister, so anything that was going on in my mind was silenced by other dramas in the house. Not to say I was forgotten, but I felt my needs were pushed aside and deemed unimportant.
So now my needs are finally being managed, a bit belated but none the less I have learnt that now I am an adult I cannot just sit and wait for someone else to fix my problems, even if I wasn’t the one who caused them in the first place. Depression and anxiety have grabbed me by the arms and dragged me through the wars over the years. I sadly accepted my fate and allowed myself to be bullied by these two, and worse, be bullied by myself. I didn’t know how to manage depression. I didn’t know I could.
The art of mindfulness and a good therapist can go a long way. I feel I have been pulled from the mud but still trying to get myself clean, which is a long process after being in the wars for so long. One way I have been cleansing my soul has been to eliminate all meat and dairy, aka veganism. Not just for the animals and sustainability (and don’t get me wrong, all animals should be raised to be loved, not raised to suffer for my dinner) but I have noticed how much more clear my mind and body feels without the negative energies that meat and dairy holds. You can roll your eyes when I start talking about energies if you wish, but the fact of the matter is energy cannot be created of destroyed. It can however be transferred. So the energy that poor cow had, years of being raped and impregnated, milked over and over, and then finally killed for meat..do you really think that piece of meat has any positive energy in it that your body is going to enjoy? Sure you just fed yourself ..but at the cost of what?
I have been reading a book called “Nutrition for Intuition” (Virtue, D & Reeves, R) which explains further about the specific energies that foods hold and which foods are going to be beneficial to specific chakras to assist in cleansing and strengthening them. It also explains on a basic note that when removing meat and dairy from your diet, without those negative energies your body is more open to accepting messages from your higher self / your intuition. Adding foods that have been broken down such as smoothies and soups is an even more beneficial way to get direct nutrition from our amazing plants, as once they are blended the food is now in a form which our body can directly absorb the nutrients instead of trying to break down a piece of food chewed a couple of times to gain any nutrients, which are then missed in the process of breaking down that food.
I have always been extremely curious with the afterlife, spirits, spiritual life, mediums, psychics and those with heightened abilities. I feel now I have taken a step in the right direction to become more connected and attuned to this lifestyle. Not allowing myself to stay grounded with my food (grounded meaning animal foods do not allow us to tap into our heightened senses and abilities) and exploring which foods can benefit different areas of my psychic energies.
So I guess all I can say for now is, stay tuned.
Today I am grateful for a relaxed day, and creating an amazing mushroom soup for dinner.